In which I make a bad Númenor joke (too soon?), try to find out what the hell is happening on the other sets, and lay bare my grudge against Elendil.
Featuring {cough} the second coming of Dick, too much weed, the first appearance of Isilidur and my biggest moment so far!
Tolkien’s legendary winged helmets make an appearance, and enough gold is on show to impress even the mighty Smaug.
Weapons training for the City Guard is non-existent, as nobody is stupid enough to think we might be even halfway competent.
The 11 Steps to Successfully Removing a City Guard from Set, and how to crowbar a Tolkien reference in to your title.
Part two of my first day on set, in which I get in touch with my inner Gimli/Luke Skywalker and come to terms with Galadriel in Númenor!
In which I finally discover where I am, and what I’m guarding, and who I’m working for!
I’m finally going on set, and this time it’s for real! Also Amazon foil my chance to find out what the show is actually called.
Covering the important stuff: chairs, snacks, and toilets. And finally we go on set. Sort off…
In which, having not been distressed yet, it is time for me to get distressed. Yeah, it confused me too…
Beards, capes, breakfast, rings, second breakfasts, and a distinct lack of tent expertise.
In which Iron Man, Elves and Ankh Morpork all come together in one post as I finally get to wear my full City Guard costume!
The chief joy of working as an extra is getting up at 2.45am and driving two hours to work in the dark.
My costume is going to be epic, and it looks like I can keep the beard after all! Also, legaloons.
In which I’m struck with the hammer blow of learning that I may well have to lose the beard…
Would you be interested in working on the Amazon series based on Lord of the Rings? Oh my god oh my god oh my god!
I recently finished reading Paul Laird’s book, The Birth and Impact of Britpop. It’s a wonderfully engaging memoir – a very personal love letter to…
It’s been a while since I released any music. One of my old bands, active between 2001-2015, had released all sorts of stuff in a…
Video clips for unsigned bands are difficult projects. A complete lack of money is of course the major stumbling block, so when the offer came…
Booking gigs is a bloody nightmare, and a hugely time-consuming business. Of course, from a fairly young age you’re aware of the concept of managers…
Readers of Part 3 will recall that we left off with me spending an hour or so entering all the addresses, dimensions, weights etc for…
Well, I’ve got the books, sorted the packaging, so let’s head off to the post office… My initial distribution run is going to be 20…
More reflections on the process of self-publishing that I’ve been through this year… Well I got the test pressing of my printed book, and very…
I’ve been reflecting on the process of self-publishing that I’ve been through this year, and this was where I was at a few months back!Well,…
Well, I can’t quite believe it, but The Road to Nowhere is finally out as both print and ebook! It’s taken a while to sort…
Delighted to have received a test print of the book! I suppose I better proof-read it again before ordering a whole bunch of them. Here’s…
Writing and rewriting and then rewriting again, followed by numerous more rewrites and some more rewriting has taken a while, but The Road to Nowhere…
Thanks to an unlikely chain of events involving a Kiwi, a drug dealer, a reservoir, Paris, a wedding, a deportation, a grass, and a serve…
Sometimes a gig is simply cursed, and absolutely nothing you can do will make it better, or indeed remove the searing burn of it from…
One lesson you will learn repeatedly early on in your career is that there are always better bands than you, and it’s no fun when…
An intrinsic part of rock’n’roll is the humble set list – that is, the list of songs that each band member has onstage, so that…
Selling your band’s merchandise is vitally important. And an average gig can soon be made to feel like a great one if you manage to…
One of my bands desperately needed a new bass player – we’d fired one guy, Mark, essentially for being a miserable bastard that couldn’t take…
Social media for bands meant one thing and one thing only at first – MYSPACE. It was new, fun and practically useful, despite one glaring…
Finding a new member is a real minefield. If you’re lucky, you already know someone you can ask, perhaps from another band. Poaching feels pretty…
Photoshoots are fun. Sort of. Dressing up in your finest, going out to a good location and then posing like a bit of twat is…
Most of us have started off rehearsing in the same sort of space – a parent’s lounge room or garage being the beginners eternal go-to…
There’s a very good chance your first band will be you and some close friends. There are few more exciting things to do as a…
One question that all musicians have been asked on numerous occasions is “when are you going to get a real job?”, or perhaps its younger…
Hi. So, I should probably introduce myself. I’m a middle-aged commercial failure of a musician, and I’ve been playing in bands in England and Australia for the last 30 years…